It is getting harder and harder to stand up in front of 75 student teachers each August and welcome them into the wonderful profession that has been my life for 37 years. I wanted to be a teacher since 4th grade, when I had Mrs. Debbie Smith. She used an integrated arts, thematic approach, although of course I did not know that at age 9. All I knew is that the year began with self-portraits that hung all year on the back wall; we learned about the history and geography and agriculture of where we lived–we learned that through choral reading of poetry and from children’s books. We took countless field trips and each time returned to the classroom and used a different art medium; we did chalk drawings, used finger paint, made puppets from papier mache and then did puppet shows. Each week we explored different parts of the world and focused much attention on the newly independent countries in Africa. It was from Mrs. Smith that I learned about apartheid in South Africa and first began to know that people can organize to fight injustice. We also did tons of map work (I love maps to this day) and learned about all different types of projections. When it came to music, we learned the music from those parts of the world. And of course, there was reading. So many books to read and we had so many ways to share our excitement about them — but we were only allowed to write one book report a year; the rest of the ways of reflecting on the books had to be multimodal (a word I didn’t know then!). And then when we did country projects we had to always find a new way to express what we had learned. I recall making a couple of Jeopardy games for the class, and standing up in front of the room at the green chalboard playing the game host. The year of learning is etched in my body, in my mind, in my heart. It was Debbie Smith who guided me as I used project-based, place-based, integrated arts methods as a teacher for 15 years.
So when I greet the new master’s students who want to be teachers, for many, many years I did so with incredible enthusiasm: “Welcome to the best profession in the world: where you get to sing and dance, and love and play and read and write and create and bring things to the world the world has never seen. There is nothing better than being a teacher!”
Only now. I dread late August.
How can I prepare new teachers for what awaits them?
Still, we try, and we don’t let on how much we worry about them.
We try to help them negotiate the insane external demands that have NOTHING to do with learning and everything to do about compliance with external mandates that are not based on student learning, but on some strange theories of “close reading” and lexile levels. Has David Coleman ever sat side by side with a child who crosses the reading bridge and magically begins to make sense of print? I can tell him, it does not come from a close reading of the author’s intent. It comes from deep interest in the subject matter (I taught one child to read by reading all the books in the library about sharks and writing a book about sharks. Three months later, he could read almost anything!) It comes from sitting side by side while you encourage the child to believe in him or herself when s/he does not yet believe in her/himself. It means playing the believing game (Peter Elbow) even when you worry, ‘When will s/he break the code?”
None of this is measurable through the metrics that the corporate school deformers have convinced the government and the philanthropists are “objective’.
I worry so much about the young teachers who are going out to this hostile atmosphere that tells them hungry children can learn just as well as well-fed children. That is a lie. There are many, many lies that make up predatory, corporate school reform.
And many of the lies are based on the Big Test. The tests that are not vertically aligned so cannot measure learning from year to year. The tests that are developmentally inappropriate and way too long. The tests that are supposedly for assessment of achievement (never learning, did you notice? learning is never mentioned anymore) but then are magically supposed to also measure teacher effectiveness. No matter that the corporate school reform own researchers (Gates, MET study, 50 million dollars) found the tests actually CANNOT measure teacher effectiveness. Lies, more lies, and damn lies.
I am sick.
I am ill.
I am enraged.
(And, for the record, I am not delusional that there was ever a golden era in U.S.public education. For poor children and children of color it has never been right.)
How to fight the insanity is all I think about. And then, when I think the news can’t possibly get worse, I get an email that takes my breath away. Breaks my heart.
Dear readers, please reply to this blog posting and offer advice to this first year teacher. Per (Marge Piercy’s gender neutral pronoun from Woman on the Edge of Time — “per,” short for “person”) writes:
It’s [PER’S NAME]. I hope you’re doing well!! I miss being at TC and around all the supportive people there SO MUCH. How I’d give anything to go back to life before graduation and the real world right now…
I‘m writing to you because I need your advice on what I should do. You were my teacher at TC, after all, so I figured you might know what I should do best. As you may (or may not) know, I am now finishing up my first year of teaching third grade at this public school in STATE. It’s been a crazy year to say the least.
Last month I was asked to give my class of eight-year olds the new, Pearson state tests. I was asked to dedicate several weeks of my classroom instruction prior to the three-week exam window prepping kids them for the test (i.e.. conditioning them to write things such as “I know this because in the text it says…,” training them to filling in three bubbles when the question asked for three answers, and whatever other garbage counts as good teaching these days. I did this, despite knowing that it’s not what being a good teacher meant. The week before the exam I spent a lot of time reflecting on what being a good teacher meant, and what it meant, specifically, to be a good PUBLIC school teacher, who thinks about the needs and wants of children, rather than the needs and wants of a big corporation that controls them.
So, anyway, I went to my principal the week before the March tests and I told her that I was not going to distribute the exams to my class. She tried to rationalize why it is that I should do this, and at the end of our hour-long conversation I said, “I told you I made up my mind. I am not going to give it out, so do whatever it is you have to do now.” The next morning she shows up in my classroom and hands me an official letter of reprimand stating that my behavior was insubordinate and unprofessional. Mind you, it was not unprofessional because I was standing up for my kids, and their rights, just the way the superintendent had asked me to do the day I signed my contract in his office. The official letter of reprimand also stated that I could lose my position as a teacher in the district if I did not hand out the tests. I contacted the union person and she said I had no choice but to give kids the tests, and so I did, because I have TC loans to pay back. I wasted a good three weeks of teaching time in March handing out these developmentally-inappropriate, ridiculous exams to my kids.
Now that we are nearing the end of the school year I’ve started looking into seeking certifications in other states. I realized, however, that I have to now put down that I have a “disciplinary action/ official reprimand” issue on all of my applications. So my first question is, does this mean that I might not get certified in another state now?
My second question has to do with the state tests that are still to come. There are two more weeks of testing coming up in May. AKA- another two weeks of valuable teaching time gone entirely down the drain. This puts us at FIVE weeks of instruction wasted on tests so far this year. How wonderful, right? My second question is, would it be the worst thing for me to stand up for what I believe is right versus what is wrong and not hand out the May assessments and say screw it, even if I get fired? Do you think I would ever have a fighting chance of getting a teaching job elsewhere (even if not at a public school) if I did this? Maybe if I did this someone would learn a thing or two about what it means to be a teacher.
I know I’m a good teacher, regardless of what anybody else has to say about it.
Maybe I’m just being completely irrational, but then again, maybe I’m not. Maybe everyone has just forgotten what public education means. Maybe there’s no such thing as public education in twenty-first century America? Maybe there never was such a thing? Maybe public “education” was all just a lie. I don’t know. I need your help!!!
Outrage on the Page 
Don’t quit or get fired. Join the movement. If you can, come to Chicago for the Network for Public Education conference next weekend. Read about Teachers of Conscience and be inspired: https://teacherslettersofprofessionalconscience.wordpress.com
Maxine Greene would say – when things are tough is when you are needed the most. Help kids and parents put the tests in perspective, and understand their dangers. Ask, when you feel you can without being called insubordinate, “Is this really in the best interests of our children?” Watch August to June, and check out http://ayearatmissionhill.com to be inspired about the alternatives that are out there. Use your power to change people’s minds about following orders. The people refusing the tests are growing, the implementation is a disaster, the tests are blatantly invalid, inaccurate, useless, creating failure by design.
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Hi Per, I cannot answer your question regarding certification, but in regards to your second question…DO NOT GET YOURSELF FIRED!
I recently had a coffee date with a good friend who teaches at an independent school, and she keeps on trying to recruit me. I was pretty tempted because, just like you, I am equally as disheartened and demoralized by the state exams. This is my third year administering the test, and I keep on telling myself that it will be easier. Fortunately, some of my students’ families have opted their children out, but not enough. For the remaining majority (sadly, still) who are taking the test, I feel for them. I saw one student, who went from someone with suicidal thoughts when thinking about school to becoming an engaged learner, unravel over the course of one day of a three day ELA exam.
Anyways, back to you…ultimately, I replied no to my friend’s request because in a recent conversation about teacher evaluations, Celia reminded me that no test or teacher evaluation can measure the lives that you have touched and changed. Although we may not see or feel it sometimes and may never see it for some students, we are touching their lives and planting a seed. Despite how the system is so unfair, the system will always be this way if good teachers, like you, leave it. So, think about the lives that you have touched already by standing up to the principal for your kids (Go you! The fact that you did this your first year is so impressive!), think about the lives that will regrettably not be touched if you decided to get yourself fired, and please stay on as a teacher so that a progressive and inclusive vision of public schooling can become a reality some day for all students.
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Dear teacher,
I’m not sure if I’m the best person to be responding to your email, seeing as I’m on the brink of opting to leave the profession, but i wanted to tell you that you are deeply admired for standing up for your students. You put yourself on the line so that your students would not have to suffer under the oppression of high stakes testing, and even though things did not turn out as you had hoped, you actually tried to do something. I believe that it was not wasted efforts and your attempt to shield your students was not in vain.
I wonder if you feel alone right now, in your efforts to combat the testing culture. And if so, i wonder if there is an organized effort that you can join, so that you would not have to go it alone. I have heard that more and more families are learning about and choosing into the opt out movement. I’ve heard that even whole schools are organizing in this direction. Perhaps you can get to know some of the people working towards this and find a community of resistors there.
As for applying to other schools, in or out of state, you may face some challenges. You will need the reference of your principal from here on out. I have worked at four different schools in two states and four districts and each time I’ve had to write down every one of my administrators as references. Depending on where you go, my bet is that you will probably be able to find a teaching job. I had to take jobs at private religious schools and charter schools before landing one in a public school. If it comes to that, you may need to broaden your horizon.
If you choose to give your students the remainder of the test, i think there are ways of minimizing the harm that it brings. You can take time to talk to your students about how they are so much more intelligent and powerful and brilliant than what the tests measure. You can give then tools to take the test without letting the stress weigh them down, such as breathing and mindless techniques. You can celebrate with them when they are done and facilitate a cathartic exercise that helps then rid of any negative thoughts that may linger from the test, such as tearing up test prep material and recycling them. I bet you have even better ideas than me, since you know your students best.
Dear teacher, take courage. Do not lose heart.
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Hi Celia:
It seems that being a good teacher is becoming subversive. Here’s a link to what I did a long time ago: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-cobb/the-teaching-profession-t_b_4426580.html. I’m thinking that young teachers need to make it clear at job interviews that they have the interests of their students, first. Test prep is not the way to game the testing system. Teachers need to communicate and collaborate with each other. What if the all ganged up to teach the best way they believed for their students and let the chips fall where they may for the tests? The only way this insanity can be stopped is with civil disobedience. Don’t know if you read this post but it is on point: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-cobb/the-demise-of-the-artistt_b_6785328.html
As it turns out, I didn’t get to the Academic Festival last weekend. But I would like to meet and chat and strategize. I live in White Plains and know where to park in the TC area. Let me know a good time for you.
Vicki
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Reblogged this on The Sharing Tree.
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What I’m about to say might sound a little crazy. But it comes from my own experience, having worked in places where I fundamentally and viscerally disagreed with the policies and administrators, but LOVED my work with the children. I think you need to tow the line. I’m saying this, not because I believe in our testing climate or because I’m a rule follower… but because your longevity in this profession needs to be your number one priority right now.
You just got here. Welcome. It’s not the most fun place to be right now. But despite mandates and reforms and politics and testing, you still care deeply about the children in your care, and you still have the power to uplift, empower, advocate for, and educate every single child in the moments that you share with them. Those moments are what children will remember long after the test is over. The moments when you smiled because you understood their humor. The moments when you calmed their nerves and empowered them to take a learning risk. The moments when you celebrated them for bringing themselves into the room and sharing something awesome with the class. The moments when you all sat quietly to think about something of profound importance. Please don’t give that up.
Despite the test, you still have opportunities to teach children how to listen to each other and collaborate on ideas. You still have opportunities to get to know children deeply and bring their interests into the room. And you still have opportunities to teach children how to express their own opinions and beliefs in ways that the world can hear and respond to them. If you leave, who will take your place? Someone without your passion and your heart? Someone who believes in test prep at all costs? Someone who thinks kids should be quiet?
As with ANY JOB out there… this one comes with compromises. Unfortunately, these compromises come at the cost of our kids, which is heartbreaking. And we do need to stand up and change this system… I believe that is an absolute, and it is why I became a teacher in 2008. I was infuriated by NCLB. But your presence here is required in order to make even the smallest possible change. So, tow the line. Make up with your principal. It’s not going to be easy, but you have to leave that job with a positive recommendation. You have to position yourself as a learner. You have to say, “I’m sorry that I let my emotions overtake me. I am just so passionate about this issue. I am grateful to be a part of this team, and I will be a better team player from now on.” You know why you have to say that and make amends and move on? Because this is just the first page in a long, long book in which you are a teacher and an activist. Don’t let it end on page 2. At the end of the day, you have to remember that all of your actions are in the interest of kids. So, if boycotting the test will not help your kids (because ultimately they’ll have to take it anyway), don’t do it. You help them more by keeping your job.
Your people are out there. You will move on and find schools, principals, teacher teams, and superintendents who believe as you do. You will find opportunities to advocate. And you have done a very brave thing already, which you should not regret. Good luck!!!! And do not give up. Navigating this tricky “reform” zone is very challenging, especially when it makes us utterly sick, but we have to remember that the kids need us to be in the game.
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I almost forgot to leave a response to Celia:
All I can say is, I’m so grateful to have met and known you on my path to this profession. You have inspired me too many times to name or count. The status quo will most likely never live up to our ideals or expectations, but that makes your work with new teachers all the more important. Just think of all the teachers who never have the chance to know or work with you… thank goodness there are 75 new teachers each year who will carry your wisdom with them. I can say that I’ve thought of you every time I’ve encountered a challenge to my values, and every time I’ve reached out for support, you have been there like a lighthouse. Throughout history, the truth-tellers have always had a harder path than the compliant ones. I love what MisterMinor (below) said about “being the most vocal promoters of real assessment, real teaching, real measurement, and real caring about children and their lives. ” That is what I am inspired to do, and that is what you are doing. You are obligated to stay inspired because every year there are new little faces who are looking up at their teachers, full of wonder. And every year the faces that used to be little and full of wonder get a little bit older and wiser and are still looking up at their teachers—waiting to be seen and heard. So everything counts. Every teacher you teach becomes the teacher that looks back at those faces and vows to know them and love them and protect them… and even if we can’t protect them from everything, there is still so much that we can do. As you said, we’ve never had the perfect educational system here in America… and maybe that is because we’ve never had a just society for every member… how can we when the foundation of our government is built upon the graves of native peoples with the sweat and tears of slaves? There is so much karma to undo here… and we have to undo it one classroom community at a time. We have to start with the children and empower them to go out there and be conscientious citizens… and to continue the work… And while we are at it, we have to keep spreading the truth about assessment and teaching and children’s basic needs being met… the purpose of schools… Just keep doing exactly what you’re doing and encouraging others to do the same. I’ll leave you with a quote from “Horton Hears a Who.”
“And that Yopp…
That one small, extra Yopp put it over!
Finally, at last! From that speck on that clover
THEIR VOICES WERE HEARD! They rang out clear and clean.
And the elephant smiled. “Do you see what I mean?…
They’ve proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.
And their whole world was saved by the Smallest of All!”
“How true! Yes, how true,” said the big kangaroo.
“And, from now on, you know what I’m planning to do?…
From now on, I’m going to protect them with you!”
And the young kangaroo in her pouch said,
“…ME, TOO!”
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Thanks so much for all that you are doing! Though we are talking about testing here, you are asking a much older, enduring set of questions — What is the role of the individual in civil disobedience? …and what is the role of civil disobedience in a larger revolution? These are things that have been considered for years. These are things that I think about constantly…
Here is where I am on this… Please know that this is not perfect, but this is the path that allows me to sleep at night (and to afford to keep the lights on during those nights when I can’t sleep). A lot of my thinking and action on issues like this comes from my my personal heroes — Sojourner Truth and W.E.B. DuBois in particular.
In ‘The Souls of Black Folk’ DuBois introduces the idea of “Double Consciousness”. I’m simplifying here, but this is the notion that for those conscious of their blackness (or in your case as a vocal dissenter, your “otherness”) your survival depends on your ability to navigate two worlds, your own and that of “the majority”. He hints that one of the best ways to survive is in the company of others. It is easy to stop individuals, it is harder to stop coalitions. If you can’t find community where you are, several of us would be more than happy to help you build one… But that work cannot be done if you are fired or if people are afraid to be near you, so you’ve got to get good at being “institutionally attractive”. You can do so by being excellent at showing student growth and achievement in everything that you do. We can be the best and most vocal critics of high stakes testing when 99% of our time is spent being the most vocal promoters of real assessment, real teaching, real measurement, and real caring about children and their lives. Basically, you can’t turn off the machine if no one will even let you stand near it.
I grow frustrated because this work has 2 dimensions: it is incredibly local and it takes time… In this we must recognize several things. With respect to one of my fellow commenters on this thread, I do not think that independent schools and charters are the way. If we want to change (a local iteration of) a system, we cannot leave it. It sounds, though, like your current position has reached irreversible levels of toxicity. If this is the case, you can find other places to reset. We would all be happy to help you do so. It’s my hope that you stay public. We need you.
I’ve been chipping away at this for 15 years now, and I’m just at a place where I can speak and direct my actions directly to some of the bad that is happening. This, then, leads to the question: “What do we do with our current students while we are gathering the strength to fight the big fights?” A few things:
Help them to see themselves without the need for outsiders or even teachers. Kids can learn the language of goal-setting and self measurement. Again, I can help you with this if you need it.
Help their families to understand what high stakes testing is all about. You are their teacher too, not just their children. I used to host family BBQs & game nights that were opportunities for me to help parents understand the system and its profound consequences.
Help students to see how every day in your classroom helps them to get more awesome and collect tangible evidence that will attest to that awesomeness. You’ll need this to protect yourself. Every time people come to my room and say “I don’t see X…” I can produce artifacts and video that speak to the contrary.
Sojourner Truth talks about how this work is soul breaking. I get my heart broken almost weekly, but I combat that with rest and the company of people that I love. Sometimes I just go home and hug my daughters or pet my cat. Sometimes its video games or music… Whatever your thing is, do it. We cannot underestimate the value of inner peace… I hope this helps. Reach out if you need it. Good work, friend…
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HEARTBREAKING
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you have done what you need to do. you stated your position. i wonder, though, how you can be given a discipline letter when you did what you were asked to do? i am asking because after 17 years of teaching, i did the same thing…said i would not administer the tests. my principal was understanding yet stated his position that i need to “do my job.” he found other duties to fulfill on two of the testing days and i had to administer on two other days. i did get called into the super’s office for a conversation but because i really did nothing unprofessional i was not reprimanded. i would ask about having the letter revoked.
please do not feel alone in this situation. there are thousands of you out there in the same position. we love being in the classroom with our students but hate the new testing mandates. just stay strong for your students. join a group like bat haven or your state’s bat group or opt-out group.
teaching is a calling and you must truly have it! keep up the faith in yourself and what you are doing for the kids because that is all that matters in the end!!
best of luck!!
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Everything you’re feeling is real. Clearly you are a passionate teacher who is wide-awake to the constraints of public schools. It won’t be easy, (nothing valuable ever is), but there will be a place that will appreciate and welcome your perspective and integrity. Regarding the incredible TC experience of being surrounded by intellectually curious, thoughtful and supportive friends–it’s difficult, if not impossible, to replicate. I’m still searching too.
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All I can say is that she isn’t alone, and that critical educators everywhere are spending their nights worrying about the same things. I can particularly empathize with the burden of student loans and the balance of protecting yourself, your family, and your students and community. What helps me is doing what I can to work within the broken system as a teacher and advocate, carefully choosing my battles and making sure I have data, literature, and an alternative plan behind me when I choose to respectfully fight something. Then, I spend my evenings and weekends as an activist, writing countless letters to any stakeholder in reform, hoping to do my part to fix the system for the future. As for the upcoming tests, perhaps it could be helpful empower your students and families to take a critical look at all perspectives, engage in open dialogue, and make their own decisions. Feel free to share my contact information if this teacher needs a friend.
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There are a lot of interwoven issues here. As a public school teacher who has similar beliefs about testing I understand where you are coming from. However, I think you need to look at an even bigger picture. Weather you pass out the tests or not the students will have to take the tests so making this stand in this way, will help no one. I am not saying to never take a stand. I talk to my parents about their rights to opt out. I work with the union to try to advocate for large scale change. Maybe this sounds like I am rationalizing not doing more. And there are days I worry it is, but I am useless to my students if fired. To stomach the test, I force myself to see whatever value I can in them. I think it is a valuable real world lesson to teach students that sometimes you have to “play the game.” It is stupid that I had to buy a suit to wear for a teacher interview when teachers don’t wear suits but that was the game. People are going to judge them based on these scores, so I teach them, the scores mean nothing they show nothing of who you are or what you have learned but we can still take it and prove that we can win our game and their game. I spend one day prior to each test showing them the formulaic writing that is done to answer the questions, if that. We take the test and see where the chips fall. Sometimes my students do well on them at least compared to their peers in other classes who have done far more test prep and sometimes they don’t. When they don’t do well, during my evaluation I am allowed in my district anyway to attach any extra data I want to my evaluation and I do. I attach the number of parents who came to our publishing parties. The number of minutes I spent on the phone talking with parents outside of school hours. The number of mornings I have come in early or stayed late with each child. The number and description of each arts integrated project we have completed. The number of field trips I have planned and the percentages of students that said they benefited from each of them. The number of outside events I have gone to to support my students. They want data I give them data, my data what matters to me. I know I am a good teacher and I know there are reasons why, so I find away to show that in the language they speak. I can make pretty graphs too, so the test just becomes one of many data points. Yes, my students lose time precious learning time to take the tests, but if five weeks are wasted, more just needs to be packed into the rest of the year.
Your heart is in the right place, just find a way to be subversive that works better. Don’t refuse to give the test until you have been able to convince the whole school to refuse, because then it will make the news then it will raise awareness and provoke change. A single flame is too easy to blow out.
I hope this helps, it is just my way of coping, take it for what you will.
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